allright allright we have reached a verdict......shampoo is better! "objection!" conditioner is better, it makes the hair silky and smooth!

She fills it up to the top and then pushes it down with the force of a sea otter...........thought it would be something cool didnt ya? well you thought wrong. its gonna be a sea otter and thats that.

Curiousity killed me, not sayin im a cat or anything.

You know what I want the most right now? I want sexy hugs! Ohh yes you heard me right...I want sexy hugs!

Nikki is the best ever....finally I have found someone who can encourage me to the same degree that i do. She is so wonderful! dont say anythig but I am on to her, I know that she is secretly an angel.

I know that i am suppossed to be a man nd walk things off. at least that is what my step dad always stressed. but i talked to serena for the first time in about 2.5 months. she is still the same well and worse. she still gets really angry quickly if we have a misunderstanding and she placed blame on my right form the beggining. I tried to explain how i didnt resent anymore and i forgot about things and was moving on, i told her that i was happier being single than with her. she said some things that were hurtful and wrong. i never want to talk to her again. she aske dif we could be friends and i couldnt tell her. but i dont want to be, after talking to her i was reassured of my decisions with her. i am so happy that i am away from her..... she is exactly what the doctor DIDN'T call for.
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I've made a huge mistake. Well it was not a mistake until now. Im sorry, I wont talk about her anymore. I cant bring the old in with the new. Its not healthy at all. She has nothing of value for me and I have owe her nothing. it is finished and I must now forget..............

I think that I am ready for things that I would have never thought of jsut a few months ago. These things were foreign to me at the time, yet now I see them as what may be right.

Great news! Ok here is a little recap....last tuesday in chapel the guy that spoke like totally spiritually raped me. His message was so terrible, I felt so lukewarm when I got out of there. On Wednesday I went to church and I learned that me trusting in the my father was all I needed and I felt so much better. I feel so much closer to God! I have been saying that Ineed to get "exclusive" with God before I can become "exclusive" with anyone else. I learned that I already am exclusive with God and just had to see it. he already set me free from my bondage and now I can just live in his love. Isnt that all great...hope that all makes sense, it does for me.

Well I just got my wisdom teeth pulled Thursday and i am feeling fine. I have not had any pain so I think I am going to be fine. I am really glad that I got this done because they were getting really annoying. You know where you have too many teeth and everytime you bite down you bite your checks! I hate that, and it gives you canquer sores a lot easier. But none the less they are gone so in a little while I should be back in business again.

Man I just had the greatest weekend at home. My mom got to meet Nikki and Cage (my new car) for the first time together. What a deal huh? My mom really likes my car, but what she is really impressed with is this Nikki girl. She is just too cool! She likes her a lot and whatelse is really cool is that my sister and Nikki clicked right away which rarely every happens. So there has to be somethign special about that wonderful girl. Ohh well I guess time (GOD) will tell and that will be that.

"Love is like setting yourself on fire and hope you dont get burned." quoted by cant remember.

Ok thanks Nikki! I have decided to make the outside of my car look good first and then work on the inside. so tinted windows, spoiler, rims, low profile tires, big loud muffler, ect. yea stuff like that. yea i talked to a few people about that also and got some good feed back on all that.

i cant think of anything to put tonight. I did get to work things out with a dear friend of mine. I said thing that sounded kind of bad but i didnt mean them to sound that way. i picked her up for the y and worked out. Man she is going to be hurting in the morning but its will help. after that we sat in my car and talked through it all. I feel so much better.

In many ways I want to run. I want to find a place to hide. This world is scary and full of things that I know nothing about yet. She said she was fine and it all came crashing down on her. She was hurt but would not lead on to the feeling that ate at her very exsistence. For now I can only walk more cautiously.

I think I said somethign that I shouldnt have. I opened my mouth for only wrong things to come out. I feel like trash now because of it. Im sorry....im sorry....im sorry. Assurance is such an ugly word to me now!

Man my car is so sweet! I named him Cage. What a great name for a great car. If you dont know, he is a 93 Saturn SC1.

So I am not sure on the earring thing anymore, cant decide.

Life is going so well...I feel like a million bucks! I havnt had a shower in a few days, but i still feel great! things are so great with me God and people and yea everything.

DTR!!!!!!!!! Had that last night and it went great. I feel so relieved, a billion bricks were lifted off of my shoulders. I wont mention a name, but if you know it went well. NO RUMORS!!!! We are only friends still and that is the way it is goingt to be for a little while. but we got everything out in the open and defined our intentions and things like that. I feel so good i knowing where i stand and what she thinks. She is totally still the coolest. well thats all folks.

I got my ear peirced! Ok so its a fake earring, but i think it looks ok. the ring itslef needs to be a little thicker but other than that i like it. Mostly everyone likes it, unless of course you grew up in a house that disapproved....cough cough...........but I like it!

she is a stubborn person, but she might surprise me and come running back only for me to put my hand in her face!

Satan only tempts us when he knows the glory at the end is worth fighting for. This was given to me by Nikki from a friends profile.

With my roommates feet and breath combined..I think he could kill a man.

The truth hurts...........It hurts bad!

Emotionally numb...

Why must I toil with these things that I know not? I think I am ready to walk, when in reality I am only learning to crawl.

Hey guess what? I am working right now, I am in the computer lab right now looking up wrong numbers. Then we get to call them and ask for their money! isn't that exciting? Well I am not excited about it, but this is my last night of calling, it's great, the next few weeks we just call our donors and thank them. Thats it folks.

You think you know her. You tell her exactly what she wants to hear. Then you use her like a dirty rag. Your pathetic in your ways you go about treating her. She deserves so much better than you. You walk around with her wrapped around your finger, you look at other girls and do things witht them that she would not approve of. You think you have everything worked out and everything is fine. She knows and cares to much to say anything. Your a freakin jerk and I dispise you. You go around and break others hearts and keep going along to get your fix. One day it will come back on you.

I think about you every day. Love dont go away. Ive got to move.

I have been through it and I dont like it. There hands ripping at me like sharp blades of terror. I try to run but only get scarred deeply by there fear. Who is to say that meaning cannot be found through this, everyone looks at it and laughs or turns away. They choose not to deal with it, only for it to eat them alive later. So I will look forward and not sideways or backwards. Im gonna fight my enemy head on and have the courage to keep persuing the prize.

Im not here to listen to your sympathy. I have no disease, but I do have a heart.

Man I over analyze some things sometimes. Isn't that supposed to be the girl's problem and all. I am just messed up or something. I think that when you have gone through a tough situation in life, it can be hard to be cool with everything. That is where the analyzing part comes in. So i am working on it. You don't hurt me, I hurt myself.

I just bleached the tips of my Mohawk. Wow I think it is hot but I need your opinions so let me know when you see it. It's not like you are going to change what I do with my hair, but none the less i am curious as to what you have to say. well see ya later.

There are things that I would rather not say. You look me right in my eyes and tell me everything is fine and wonderful, but you do things to confuse me. It frusterates me, cant you see? I want to know you and feel the warmth of your embrace..... but I can't. I know that I am not not on time with you, your running ahead of me and I cant seem to catch up. You look back everyonce in awhile to look at me as if to see if I am ready and then you keep running. Im tired and exhausted, my strength dwindles. But you persist and I must follow because I can't look back. The past is far to dark and unstable, but the road ahead is new and shows much more promise. For now I wait and watch until I am capable of doing..................

So me and Nikki are playing "perdiddle" tonight and it's a heated game. We both said it relitively at the same time. So I said, " There is no way, I per'ed like a cat before you p'ed." so I got the point. It was quite funny. Just thought you would all want to know!

I would like to make a correction, well to tell you more about Nikki and her score. I made a new quiz, which is also on my profile ans she scored a 70 on this one. Slightly better but there is still room for improvement. I think what hurt was that she got the color of my eyes wrong. Its blue not green. Ohh well she doesnt work well under pressure i guess. haha funny....

Ok here is the deal. Me and four other people are trying to go to church tonight in Goshen and we have no money or gas. So we are trying to take up an offering of change and stuff so that we can get gas for my car. I think we are roughly up to $4 right now. That is a really good start so I am excited. If you woul dlike to donate then call me and tell me. You will be donating to the prestigious Noel Joseph Burke III fund. Thanks!

Hey take my quiz, its in my profile at the end. And to just let you know Nikki got a 60, so if it says she got a 100 then just ignore it cause its not true.

I am having fun with me Ford Pimpo, its full of surprises. Tonight i was driving around with Nikki and I pop it into nuetral to brake at a stop sign and then throw it into drive and it stalls on me. We were in the middle of nowhere and there were no lights anywhere around. Wow that was a little nerve racking. But it started right up! Nikki just looked at me in utter nervousness and surprise. She was on the edge of her seat for a minute, it was really funny.

Ok I realized that life is great! I dont know why but I am really having a good time with friends and a jacked up car and school and stuff.

Friends are great! thanks Nikki.

Erin Swim you are a schemer...you know it. Ok so she asks me last night if I was going to be with someone soon or if i was already with some one. I told her no and she just smiled at me. She wont admit it totally but something is up she knows something that I don't. To be honest it is probably my good friend Janice Nikki Downs. Yea since we hang out, by Grace standards, we must be going out. Well to alieviate any worries about that I am happily single and trying to get tight with God before I risk anything else.

WHAT?................huh.............What!

Man my mom is so great! It's funny how she has this vast source of intellegence that is open for to learn new things. She already knows all these things and I think I have it figured out. WRONG!

Yea the sweetest thing a human being could ever do for me happened last night. I had a terrible class and deciced to go on a run without her because she was doing something she needed to attend to. She wanted to come run with me that night and so she found a bike and rode all over looking for me to give comfort and support to me when I really needed it. It was at like 11:00 at night and cold. Nikki you are the sweetest girl I know. She was like Christ to me that night, when I am weak and susceptable to the flesh He comes and looks for me and comforts me.

njburke3: so technically its not your fault, you told him you didnt like him that way, love hurts sometimes, its the setting your self on fire thing
njburke3: I know that sucks horriblly, I have had to go through it but i think in time he will realize it was stupid to get upset over spilled milk

It takes a minute to find a special person
An hour to appreciate them
A day to love them
But then an entire life to forget them.

___________________________
She walked on a pillow of clouds, she noticed things that seemed out of place, but she smiled with a fake sense of security, she loved him and opened her heart, why did he stray so far away, was he mental? She couldnt put her finger on it, was it her, surely she did what was right, she finally came to the conclusion....he wasnt worth it, she knew she was better and deserved higher, she saw him in a dream...standing there opening his arms to her as if to comfort her, she looked into the sky as if to make peace with God and walked on....

Everyone longs to be loved thoroughly and exclusively, but to the Christian, God says, "no, not until you're satisfied, fulfilled, and content by being loved by me alone. I love you my child, and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be united w/ one another until you're united w/ me exclusively. I want you to stop wishing and planning, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing...one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the best. You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things, but when you're ready, I'll surprise you w/ a love more wonderful than you'd ever dream of. Until you're satisfied exclusively w/ me and the life I prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship w/ me; and this is perfect love."
(Thelittleparker)

Once I was in a relationship that I thought was going to go all the way. It was a terrible mistake. God finally got inside my head and showed me that a making out and fighting are not what a marriage is all about. Thank you God so much that you made me realize it finally. Now I wait for that one who will bring me hope.

One day I will consider myself lucky to have a wife who loves me for who I am and not what I look like, dress like, talk like, or the money and material posessions I have. She will be the 2nd greatest thing to ever happen to me..............

I saw her there, she was standing ten feet away with a smile, she looked happy, was she crazy for trusting me? Would she still feel this way if she really knew me, am I the Godly man I am supposed to be? For now, I will walk carefully and quitely into the the night, because I am unsure of events that could take place and things that should or should not be.........